7:00pm- Should have gone to the Muntfinger gig in Henley or could be heading to a Friend's set in London. But seeing as most of last night's activities have left me somewhat the worse for wear, my stomach and brain have decided to boycott all activity that involves standing, walking or, on several occasions, loud talking. Gigs are off, other people drank sensibly last night and therefore not on facebook, and TV, as ever, is shit. Hmmm..., I ponder to myself, and what might a lonesome, hungover, yet creative young gent like myself indulge in of an eve? Perhaps a game of backgammon on the Nintendo DS? Or I could wash my hair and comb the newt larvae and spider's eggs from my majestic mane? Sit in the darkness weeping and rending my garments at the fate of humanity maybe?
Well, couldn't find the DS, the newts make a tasty snack from time to time and I'm a bit low on garments this being so close to washday (Monday if you're curious). So I picked up the bass and started to have a wee noodle.
7:45pm - Gone through the usual repertoire. Burton's masterful Anesthesia was thoroughly murdered by a bassist who will never be that good. A bit of Garbage (the band, not just generic garbage), a little Journey (now that's garbage), a sup-son of Rammstein and a wafer thin slice of Daft Punk. Mix in some Ramones, Stiltskin, Marvin Gaye, Black Sabbath, Everclear... After realising the eclectic nature of this list, I daydream about what it would be like if all of these bands put on a gig together. "Now ladies and gentlemen, I hoped you enjoyed the German industrial metal, followed by French Electro-funk because now we've got 1970s punk and then it's Soul time!"
8:15pm - Have spent some time trying to improve the 12 bar blues standards that gave birth to rock n roll. Can't. Give up and eat some sausage rolls. Mmmm... scrummy.
9:00pm - Have finally restringed the G on my acoustic bass. Play three bars and the fucking thing snaps again. Freak-bass. Curse a few times and mumble about 'they made bass strings stronger in my day..." at which point I realise that this is pretty much still my day and between my incompetence and the freakish ability of the now almost legendary "4 String 5 String" freak-bass, it's just not going to happen. Give up, dejected and destraught.
10:00pm - Learnt new songs! Yay! Depeche Mode's Stripped, Everclear's All Fucked Up and Metallica's Prince Charming all now in the bag and committed to memory. Break for chocolate biscuit and roll-up.
10:30pm - Start ridiculous project. After much scuffling with the wardrobe monster, I retrieve the shell of the legendary and unique 'Anarchy' Bass. A bastardised Squier precision with the robbed neck of... something else. All repainted and customised (I bought a jigsaw and cut the headstock in half. When boredom and power-tools meet, regrets are rarely far behind). The neck bolts seized up in a funny way once making it unplayable. On another occasion, the pick-ups fell out mid-gig which made it unplayable. And, on one particularly memorable occasion, the replacement active pickups exploded setting fire to my leg. After wiping away the cobwebs (all the baby spiders were transplanted to my hair to satisfy PETA) I began my work.
11:15pm - New strings attached and retuned. E string is very sloppy by tightens up nicely when A and D are added. Pick-ups, with the help of No-More-Nails (except for the one I had to use to dig out all of the crusted, dry No More Nails in the nozzle), are replaced and set firm. These ones are passive so the Anarchy should no longer be thought of as a ballistic weapon. Jack nut is tightened, hardware is shined up and neck bolts are checked. And do you know what? It sounds funking brilliant. Scratchy and raw. Then I drop it on my foot. The curse of the anarchy bass never ends...
11:30pm - Peavey bass feeling neglected now. Noodle away on that and stumble across the very easy riff for ACDC's Nightprowler. Love happy coincidence. Then Anarchy bass falls out of its stand and hits me on the knee. Ouch. Break for bandage, glass of ribena and another roll up.
11:45pm - Get annoyed. Try to copy a Billy Sheehan solo from grainy youtube video. Impossible. The man is a scientologist freak. Also, happy to report that my Mac does not recognise scientology as a word. Good to know Apple have not succumbed to Tom Cruise and all his little goblins. Will never be as good as Billy Sheehan though. Try Timmy C instead and marvel at how he can make such simple bass lines sound so damn good.
12:30pm - Doing the chicken walk across my room as I play Johnny B Goode. Find a really funky tone on the Zoom pedal and try to play the guitar part instead on the bass. Further break for yet more bandages and roll-ups.
1:00am - A couple of cacique rums over ice and I'm mellow as anything, playing a selection of the cheesiest 80s bass lines I can find, including Romeo & Juliet by Dire Straights and The Communard's classic Don't Leave Me This Way. At some point I realise that I can not actually feel my fingers anymore. perhaps I played for a little too long tonight, but that serves to prove the addictive and amusing nature of the bass guitar. Ok, so most of the songs are simple, and the harder ones I fluffed up repeatedly but I enjoyed myself. Simply because I was playing.
And that's how I wasted my saturday night. On a night when, as tradition dictates, I should be plastered, staggering from pub to pub, I find myself happily engaged in my accidental craft. I have a crushed knee, a broken foot, blisters on my fingers, I think I've gone temporarily tone deaf and that rum was really not a good idea (though it is good rum), I enjoyed it. And the great thing is, I can do that whenever I want to! Any night when I find myself not wanting to go out, or too hungover or just bored, I can pick up those basses and make music which is a rare gift that not everyone can do. I'm getting better each time and riffs that once seemed fiddly, are in the mind and in the fingers and I can press myself further every time. brilliant. Am now off to watch bad late night/early morning TV and tend my wounds. Great night.
Tags: Bass Saturday Basslife
